When a father physically, mentally, and sexually abuses his daughter from ages 11-23, why does her mother do nothing? Has the mother enabled this situation? Did she want this to happen? Why didn't she step in and help her daughter? What kind of mother does nothing? Or, did this mother even know? These are the questions readers of Viga Boland's first memoir, No Tears for myWhen a father physically, mentally, and sexually abuses his daughter from ages 11-23, why does her mother do nothing? Has the mother enabled this situation? Did she want this to happen? Why didn't she step in and help her daughter? What kind of mother does nothing? Or, did this mother even know? These are the questions readers of Viga Boland's first memoir, No Tears for my Father, were asking after reading the graphic details of her true story of incest.It was an ugly secret Viga Boland had kept hidden for over 45 years. She told no one, including her husband, until she was 65. Now, in Voice from an Urn, Viga addresses her readers' questions through her mother's own words. Find out why her mother did nothing as together they fill in the blanks about those tension-filled years of secrecy. This is Part 3 of the story begun in No Tears for My Father, a return to the horror of those years after the oasis offered in Part 2, Learning to Love Myself, Viga's memoir of recovery and rebirth. Voice from an Urn is another gripping true story by Viga Boland, written for BOTH victims of incest: the children and their mothers. But it is also a story of unspoken love between a mother and child....
|Title||:||Voice from an Urn: A mother tells her side of her daughter's true story of incest|
|Number of Pages||:||108 Pages|
|Status||:||Available For Download|
|Last checked||:||21 Minutes ago!|
Voice from an Urn: A mother tells her side of her daughter's true story of incest Reviews
It’s hard to say whether or not a mother knows or is willing to admit that her child has been sexually abused by a family member, especially if that family member is the father of your child. From the perspective of the reader, it’s easy to point out the telltale signs of sexual abuse as you read “Voice from an Urn” and “No Tears for My Father”. However, living the experience is quite a different story.By adapting her mother’s point of view, Viga Boland relates her mother’s ignorance, fears, and confusion throughout Boland’s childhood sexual abuse and the years leading to her mother’s death. It’s evident that the fear of her husband, her codependency, and the social expectations of women’s roles at the time kept Boland’s mother from ever questioning her husband’s authority or his dictatorial control and unnatural obsession with his daughter. And although anger towards Boland’s mother may stir for demonstrating a lack of interest in her child’s wellbeing, “Voice from an Urn” must be read within the context of the times.Living and growing up in the early to mid-part of the 1900’s, women were still expected to submit to the household’s male authority figure—in this case Boland’s father. As a wife, Boland’s mother was verbally and physically mistreated by her narcissistic husband, who repeatedly pointed out how stupid and worthless she was. As a woman who had a low level education and who couldn’t read or write, she believed him. It was this brainwashing that made her a victim herself, thus rendering her powerless and incapable of saving her own child from a sexually depraved and insatiable monster.As the story progresses to later years, just as Boland’s mother is about to die, we begin to understand how much she loved her daughter and how she regretted not being strong enough to fend for her. While Boland cares for her dying mother during those last months, the truth of her physical and sexual abuse begins to emerge, often slipping into a casual conversation between the two and quickly slipping back out for fear of being exposed completely. Inevitably, the moment comes when Boland discloses the atrocities her father committed against her—and her mother—and the two begin a process of purging, forgiveness, and healing.In the end, Voice from an Urn shows the bond between a regretful mother and a hurting daughter, whom always loved each other, and who were bound to help each other heal from their painful past.
At last!! Viga Boland's Voice from an Urn supplies the final puzzle piece to her story of the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father. Viga's readers first learned about Viga's abuse in her debut memoir No Tears For My Father. They discovered how she coped during the ensuing years in her second memoir Learning To Love Myself. But readers remained indignant and incredulous that Viga's mother did nothing to protect her daughter from Bogdan Kubala's sexual predation. Did Viga's mother know and do nothing? Why did Viga keep this horrible secret for so long? Why didn't she tell someone---her mother, her friends, her own husband, the police? We now have the answers. It is 2006 and Viga's mother, Jadwiga Kubala, is dying of cancer. There is not much time to say what has been unspoken for more than 50 years before she takes long-buried secrets to her grave. As Jadwiga faces her mortality, she must finally confront the horror her daughter has lived with since she was 11 years old. Jadwiga thinks back to the start of the abuse inflicted upon her and her daughter by the sadistic man she called "husband". We travel back in time with Jadwiga to learn how she became trapped in an abusive relationship; how her husband took control of her mind and her body; how he robbed her of her self-worth and free will; and how he engendered the fear that triggered Jadwiga's instinct to withdraw and survive in any way she could---even if it meant she left her daughter unprotected from this monster. In a true story that will tear your heart out, inspire righteous anger and ultimately, give understanding and forgiveness, Viga Boland shares the story of a mother who loved her daughter and a daughter who, in turn, loved her mother unreservedly. They were survivors. Together they coped with the manipulation and sexual predation of the narcissistic man with whom they lived. Voice from an Urn is Jadwiga Kubala's final chance to offer her side of the story. It is a viewpoint that deserves to be told. And if you ever wonder why women and children remain trapped in such hopeless lives, you must read this book to learn the answer. Thank you, Viga, for sharing your mom's story in your trademark straight-forward style. Your honesty and your deep abiding love shine through in this lovely tribute to your "little mama". Beautifully done.
This book was written as beautifully as all of Viga's other books, but I'm still left with the disappointment of wondering...did her mother know?Jadwiga Kubala was definitely a victim of her evil husband, but what if Viga's imagined conversations with her dying mother were completely off base? I personally feel I was duped into buying the book because the description said, "Purchase your copy of 'Voice from an Urn' directly from my website now to answers your questions about why my mother did nothing about the incest you read about in 'No Tears for my Father'." We'll never know because Viga doesn't know.It's not fair game to guess based on feelings and then expect readers to accept that conclusion as the answer to their questions.My questions were not answered.
This is a stunningly real memoir. I had to stop reading at one point because the vividness of the writing overwhelmed me, it was just that good. The story is told with the authors mother's voice. It offers insight into not only what she may have known or not know about the abuse suffered by her daughter at the hands of her husband but the abuse she herself suffered. It's a story that raises many emotions, another testament to the quality of the writing. A definite recommend!