Read The Brentford Triangle by Robert Rankin Online


'Omally groaned. "It is the end of mankind as we know it. I should never have got up so early today" and all over Brentford electrical appliances were beginning to fail...'Could it be that Pooley and Omally, whilst engaged on a round of allotment golf, mistook laser-operated gravitational landing beams for the malignant work of Brentford Council?Does the Captain Laser Alie'Omally groaned. "It is the end of mankind as we know it. I should never have got up so early today" and all over Brentford electrical appliances were beginning to fail...'Could it be that Pooley and Omally, whilst engaged on a round of allotment golf, mistook laser-operated gravitational landing beams for the malignant work of Brentford Council?Does the Captain Laser Alien Attack machine in the bar of the Swan possess more sinister force than its magnetic appeal for youths with green hair?Is Brentford the first base in an alien onslaught on planet Earth?...

Title : The Brentford Triangle
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780552138420
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 237 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Brentford Triangle Reviews

  • John
    2018-11-13 23:08

    Overall - 4.5 starsStory - 4 starsNarration - 5 starsThis audio book was crazy! Both the story and narration were, at times, hilarious! I kept thinking this would have been a great Month Python movie.So far, this series is highly recommended! Especially the audio versions!

  • RC
    2018-11-19 00:52

    The characters appear to live in purgatory based on the TV series "Last of the Summer Wine". Surprisingly, the stories are rather dull and boring, undermined by the storytelling technique.

  • Martyn Stanley
    2018-11-19 19:14

    I stand corrected! Upon seeing the cover, I realize I DID finish this one and I think I enjoyed it slightly more than the first one. Slightly. Like I enjoy having a filling, slightly more than I enjoy having an extraction. These things are relevant. So, this was akin to popping the bib on, reclining back, opening wide and trembling at the high-pitched whine of the dentist's drill. Then holding my breath as my attractive, young, female dentist looms over - then proceeds to torture me, spraying water and dislodged bit of tooth all about, while the young dental nurse alongside her, suctions all the debris out with a warm smile. Antipope was more kin to having about a dozen injections, numbing my mouth up so badly I couldn't speak, then said dentist reaching in with pliers, and a steel screwdriver, and spending what seemed like an hour trying to wrench a molar out. Thankfully she stopped short of putting her knee on my chest for leverage. I know some people love these books. I think I persevered through this one because I wanted to! It's basically about an alien invasion, which gets halted by some pub regulars. It was funny in places, but it wasn't a cohesive, gripping story. I may try a re-read if I can find my copy, I may appreciate it more now. At the time, I read it because it was something to read. Everything I said about the Antipope ( applies here too! Yes, there were funny bits, but there were also lots of not so funny bits (At least to me) and this books really relies on it's humor for you to enjoy it.Martyn StanleyAuthor of:-The Last Dragon Slayer (Free to download)

  • Isabel (kittiwake)
    2018-12-09 01:47

    'And the lights upon the allotment,' said Soap, 'what would you take those to be?' 'The work of the council,' said Omally firmly, 'another plot to confound honest golfers.' Soap burst into a paroxysm of laughter. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and he clutched at his stomach. 'Come now,' said Pooley, 'it is no laughing matter, these lads have it in for us.' 'Have it in for you?' gasped Soap between convulsions. 'You witness a test run of laser-operated gravitational landing beams, the product of a technology beyond comprehension, and you put it down to the work of Brentford Council?''If you will pardon me,' said Pooley, somewhat offended, 'If it is the product of a technology beyond comprehension I hardly feel that I can be blamed for finding it so.''Quite', said Omalley.1) The Antipope 2) The Brentford Triangle 3) East of Ealing4) The Sprouts of Wrath 5) The Brentford Chainstore MassacreI decided that I should try to fit in some re-reads of old favourites over the next few months, and I started with The Brentford Trilogy since I've got two linked books on my TBR shelf. I liked book 1 of this series, but it was book 2 that got me hooked. On the surface Brentford may appear to be a normal West London suburb, but it's actually a centre of weirdness and a magnet for the uncanny. So it's lucky that the mysterious Professor Slocombe, and local layabouts Pooley and Omalley are ready to tackle evil whenever it rears its head, with the help of the inventive genius Norman Hartnel, hollow-earther Soap Distant and the other regulars of The Flying Swan pub.

  • Angela
    2018-11-28 19:08

    This time Brentford is invaded by aliens, and only our intrepid pub goers can stop them. Oh, and win a darts match at the same time. This feels like a complete story compared to the first novel. There's quite a lot of fun moments where Omally tries to keep things normal no matter what happens. I like the idea of allotment golf. A fun, light hearted good read.

  • Joey Woolfardis
    2018-11-29 23:45

    [Quick review from memory before I re-read and re-review at a later date](lawl even from the description I'm laughing. Can't wait for the re-read. No memory of it at all, though. I'm sure it'll all come flooding back.)

  • Bettie☯
    2018-11-25 02:56

    There are 9 books in this trilogybut you only find a sensible 3 in this edition

  • Samantha
    2018-12-01 23:53

    DOn't walk - run and read these books. Then talk toot.

  • Sean Keefe
    2018-12-13 00:47

    mad, fun, laugh out loud, can't get enough Rankin.

  • Rory Tregaskis
    2018-11-24 22:05

    I thought the prose style was like a pub bore, who thinks using too many words makes them sound erudite and witty then BANG! One horrible racist joke and my suspicions were confirmed. Robert Rankin is a total fucking wanker. About three quarters of the through, two howlers in as many pages made me think, fuck this, I'm not reading any more of this trash. The whole way through bad writing is hidden by too many words. Money isn't money, it's "coin of the realm" (he must have liked that one because it is repeated five or six times). Everything is "the proverbial..." you don't drink a pint, it's a "pint of Large", no one is Irish, they're a "son of Eire" Not funny, or clever, just like a drunk Top Gear presenter. The first was typical of the book. The phrase, all the tea in China, already a dull cliche, is made more irritating by drawing attention to it and making it wordier by turning it into "all the lapsang souchong south of the Yellow River" but on the next page was a howler so bad I had to put the book down. Bearing in mind this book was first published in 1982, and this line is said by the narrator, not a character, the words used are not relevant to the story, so to my ears this is a totally unacceptable racist remark. A dog, instead of having a good sense of smell could, "smell a n***** in a woodpile with his nose bandaged." I really wanted to like this book because I grew up in Brentford, right outside the Brentford triangle, and I love anything about aliens, but it's so annoying and I had to put it down, also there's no women in it. Utter shit.

  • Geoff Battle
    2018-11-23 23:51

    The Brentford Triangle is a stand-alone entry in to the myriad of novels that Rankin has centered around Brentford. The series hasn't really evolved much. They are still full of running gags, wry humour, clever prose and a multitude of oddball characters. The central characters are no stereotypical heroes, if anything their adventures happen to them, which of course is the lure of Rankin's work. The plot in Triangle is absurd, the action incredulous and it's a short enough read to keep it punchy. It's not as clever as later entries, but it's definitely worth a read, if you've any or none of Rankin's work you'll still enjoy this wacky, but not slapstick book.

  • Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)
    2018-11-16 00:06

    Published in 1982 and very much of its time and place. Pratchett, Adams and Rankin were all writing and creating at about the same time and apparently shared fascinations with 80s pop culture (than which nothing dated faster), and this book is full of the references. Space Invaders of more than one sort, darts tournaments down the local, rather boring satanists and even Edgar Allen say nothing of the camel. And not to mention The Midwich Cuckoos, who smell of creosote.Probably more popular with the lads than the ladies. I'm still looking for the volume that made me laugh so hard when I found it in the British Institute library.

  • Robert J.
    2018-11-22 21:49

    I don't have much to say other than it's Rankin. If you've read his books you know what you're getting into. If you don't. Read his books.

  • Tom Radford
    2018-11-16 03:05

    More brilliant lunacy in Brentford

  • Simon Mcleish
    2018-12-01 20:53

    Originally published on my blog here in February 2001.The AntipopeMany fantasy authors attempt to mingle the familiar and the exotic in their writing; the familiar enables the reader to grasp what is going on, while the exotic is what defines the genre and what is sought by its fans. The familiar is supplied either by reference to the world around us, for example through the common device by which a normal person suddenly finds themselves in a world of magic, or by reference to the commonplace gestures of the genre.In humorous fantasy, this combination of the mundane and the fantastic is frequently used for comic effect, by making it amount to more collision than a union between these elements. In Robert Rankin's first novel, beginning of one of my favourite series, this is very well done indeed. The mundane aspect is a pub in a mid-seventies suburb of West London. However much Brentford might appear to be a normal part of the city, it is only like that on the surface. In fact, it, and the Flying Swan pub in particular, forms the focus of all kinds of occult manifestations. Brentford actually exists, and was presumably much as described by Rankin in the sixties, at least before the Great West Road was turned into the M4.The Antipope is about an attempt to take over the world from the Seaman's Mission in Brentford, built in the nineteenth century to house indigent sailors. Although the man who runs the establishment has successfully barred anyone from taking advantage of its facilities for some years, he is unable to resist a malevolent tramp, who not only moves in but radically transforms the Mission. Only Flying Swan regulars John O'Malley and Jim Pooley, with the aid of expert on the esoteric Professor Slocombe, can stop his fiendish plots.The Antipope is, like the rest of the series, very funny and undemanding reading.The Brentford TriangleThe second novel in Rankin's series is much like the first, giving the reader more comic insight into the occult reality behind the apparently typic London suburb of Brentford. This time, it is concerned with the connections between the installation of a Space Invaders machine in the Flying Swan pub, an alien spacefleet homing in on an unsuspecting Earth, and the powerful ley lines which form Brentford's boundaries.Many of the ideas of the series seem to be based on the kinds of things which sometimes come up in silly discussions in pubs - hollow earthers, ley lines, UFOs and so on - and pub culture is very strongly reflected in the novels. The main location in which they are set is the Flying Swan, the characters are mostly the pub regulars. There are absolutely no women characters at all; it is an old fashioned pub culture, from the days before big screen satellite TVs, before pub quizzes, before slot machines, before woman drinkers.This doesn't stop The Brentford Triangle being very funny, and even quite an enjoyable adventure. It probably helps if the reader is British, so that traditional pub culture is something familiar, nostagic even.East of EalingRankin's first published writing was a play, Armageddon: The Musical, which later became a novel. In East of Ealing the third Brentford novel, much the same theme is taken up. When Jim Pooley finally pulls off a "Yankee accumulator" (a series of bets on six horses, the winnings from each put on the next), he becomes immensely rich, and his hand is stamped with a bar code which he can use to pay for goods instead of cash. But strange things are happening; as well as the number that goes with the barcode being "666", every building site in Brentford is taken over by computer firm Lateinos and Romiith, before a curtain of light separates Brentford from the rest of the world and inhabitants begin to be replaced by robot replicas.East of Ealing is not as amusing as The Antipope or The Brentford Triangle; the Day of Judgment is perhaps a rather serious theme for treatment in this way. It does contain its fair share of ludicrous ideas, including one which has bizarrely been taken seriously by some evangelical Christians. That is, that the "mark of the Beast" referred to in Revelation (which it says will act as a license to buy and sell under the patronage of the Beast) is a computer bar code, stamped indelibly on the hand. The special number 666, which is stamped on Pooley's hand, supposedly allows unlimited credit. I think that this idea probably originates in East of Ealing, and as a serious proposal it is so silly that it is hardly worth arguing against.

  • Dada Welsh
    2018-12-07 21:15

    Allotment Golf needs more love. This should definitely be a real sport.I enjoy all the Brentford books, but this one I think is the most well-rounded and feels like a whole story. theres the usual great juxtaposition of the villagers trying to retain level headed and underwhelmed in the face of extraordinary events. If you like tongue-in-cheek British Humour, this is probably up your alley.

  • Joseph Teller
    2018-11-15 23:08

    This is the second book in the "Brentford Trilogy", centering around the 'locals' at the Flying Swan pub, with a high emphasis on the Infamous Pooley and Omally.Once again weird things are going on in Brentford, which appear to be centered around (as far as they can tell) interfering with the development of 'Allotment Golf' by Pooley and Omally. This one ends even further afield from reality than the previous book in the series, so you must be willing to put aside your desire for realism and walk on the weird and fuzzy logic of Brentford, where Postmen may communicate with Edgar Allan Poe and the Comte De Sainte Germaine may be living under an assumed name and doing battle with demonically powered mages over a darts tourney.Its not as good as his later books, but then again again he's had 25 years to get better and be slightly less culturally obscure (though still very very English).

  • Simon Blake
    2018-12-13 18:48

    This is one of the funniest books I've ever read. It has an atmosphere to it like no other fictional world I can think of. Everything's just a little bit off - the pub sells beer in pre-decimal currency (placing the action before 1970) but plays host to a Captain Lazer Alien Attack machine, which places it firmly in the late seventies at the very, very earliest. It has some great, memorable characters, and the author also clearly knows his Fortean history as some of them turn out to be more than they appear... It also contains some of the funniest swearing in any book I've come across.Crucially, however, although this is the second book in the Brentford Trilogy, it is the one you should read first. The Antipope simply isn't as good an introduction to the world of Brentford as is this one. Love it.

  • Nathan Dehoff
    2018-11-19 22:04

    The follow-up to The Antipope, featuring most of the same characters, came across to me as faster-paced than its predecessor. In this story, Professor Slocombe once again recruits local layabouts Jim Pooley and John Omally to fight evil forces that are invading the London suburb, this time in the form of aliens from the destroyed planet Ceres. Not my favorite of Rankin’s writings, but pretty funny nonetheless, with the sort of weirdness that pervades the author’s work. In addition to the alien attack, we also find a shopkeeper trying to transport the Great Pyramid to Brentford, and a postman summoning the spirit of Edgar Allan Poe. Pretty much anything goes in Rankin’s books, yet there’s still a kind of odd logic to them.

  • Adam Sprague
    2018-11-29 20:06

    This story started out very entertaining and then trailed off for me. I'm not entirely sure why Rankin decided to dedicate so much of the beginning of the story to allotment golf to simply have it irrelevant to the end of the story and then focus the story on a poorly developed darts tournament.Even with that said, Rankin's writing style is still very good and there are a few funny moments too. The story makes you want to keep reading, however the ending is a bit thrown together feeling and makes you feel a bit let down.Hopefully, this is as bad as his novels can get, because it was still good and I plan to read more of him.

  • Shane
    2018-12-02 22:59

    A very funny book. Am glad there are more in the series. The humour isn't forced even though it's up there with Terry Pratchett, and the storyline is entertaining enough although nothing ground-breaking. Be interesting to read some of the non-Brentford books just to see if they're as good. Looking forward to the next one anyway. A very funny, quick and easy read.

  • Paul
    2018-11-16 00:02

    How do you stop aliens who all bare an uncanny resemblance to a young Jack Palance from taking over the world?Well you could sit in the pub playing darts or video games, but that wouldn't be very productive now would it?This book is number 2 in the Brentford Trilogy, and once again those working class heroes Jim Pooley and John Omally must save the day.

  • Ian
    2018-11-13 22:05

    another story of the heroic drunks. I liked the first one better but was more tired reading this one. Did like the darts tournament and the math error coverups. John Omalley is becoming a hero/role model for me, not sure how that will turn out.

  • Amy Seraphina
    2018-11-19 01:48

    it took me so long to finish... i was full on into it until the last major scene with the dart tournament, the aliens and flying camel. my head is still a bit topsie turvy, but i always enjoy a Robert Rankin... hopefully the next one in the series is a little less confusing in its dramatic ending.

  • Jakub
    2018-12-11 02:15

    As usual, Brentford Trilogy offers loads of laffs. And if you're not functionally retarded, laughs. Amazing events, aliens and levitating camels and psychopathic midgets and a suitable epic finale that despite being set up for pages still managed to make me laugh in the middle of mostly empty bus.

  • Mel
    2018-12-03 21:15

    If half stars were available one would be tacked. It is important to remember this series takes itself as seriously as an fps game filled with unicorns.

  • Kathleen Young
    2018-11-28 01:53

    Brilliant. Genius. Tongue-in-cheek. Running gags. Characters. Did I say Brilliant? Brilliant.

  • Jo
    2018-11-22 03:10

    Same as the other Robert Rankin - random but very funny

  • Kelly Foxhall
    2018-12-10 23:59

    One of my favourite authors. Nothing is how it seems in a Robert Rankin book, they are the best material to read when you want to escape from the norm.

  • Keith
    2018-11-15 01:52

    An entertaining read that loses its way near the end